the 6th day

Angel hasn't spoke to Strawberry for almost a week and he was going to continue, but then he didn't. This is because on the 6th day of silence, there was a phone call for his colleague in the office, however, the guy wasn't in, so Angel picked it up instead. As standard procedure, Angel would always ask who the caller was and to his surprise, it was Strawberry. He couldn't recognize her voice as she had a sore throat. Because of that he broke his silence. The next day, he made some drinks for her to sooth the throat and they start to text each other and also talked, to make sure she is getting well.

However, Angel still stood to his silence, he would text her like once a while or talk to her for a bit in a day. He would show her that he had moved on. But most of his emotions and thoughts are hold up inside him. There is so much he wanted to tell her. So much he wanted to do for her but he can't. One thing for sure, he needed a hug from anyone, anybody, somebody. He is tired and exhausted both physically and emotionally. He just wished she could give him a hug like he did for her before. Just one hug that's all. She still fills his thoughts all the time. Only difference is that he is able to hold on and pretend that everything is alright with him.

Kiss the Rain

Its been two days, Angel hasn't talked or text Strawberry. It has been really hard for him but he try to resist. He is doing this to shed his skin and remove any negative emotions he have. Nevertheless, she constantly fills his thoughts. Everytime he left his office he would always try and take a glimpse into her office just to see her. He wanted so badly to talk to her, but he couldn't. Not now at least, as he might just say or do unnecessary things. He thought maybe by doing so he can give her a normal day without him bothering or annoying or giving her any troubles. He knows she may not think like that but thats how things must go. At least for him.

One thing for sure by doing so, he is changing. He has cut down the number of cigarettes he smoke. Bad thing about it is he gave up bfast and lunch. During one of these afternoons, it rained. He was so excited, he ran under it. The moment the rain drops on his head, he felt so good and refreshed. The rain seems to take his troubles away. But unfortunately, while he ran, he slipped and sprained his ankle. Yet the excitement just took his mind off the pain. When it stopped raining, the first thing that popped into his mind was what Strawberry said to him before, when he was having troubles, was "After the rain there is always a rainbow". But in his rain, there has never been a rainbow. So he will find that rainbow himself. If it doesn't appear he will make his own rainbow.

Number?

Later that night, Angel planned to drink till drunk. So he started with one beer, followed by more Jack Daniel's Whiskey. That night he drank alot of the whiskey. More than he usually drinks. He had a few shots of tequila too. But after that he decided to stop drinking. He isn't tipsy or near drunk. He stopped because he decided there is no point to being drunk, it only proves how weak he is. Drinking doesnt solve anything, he realised that and so he left home early. Throughout the whole night he would wonder how and what is she doing and hoping she would text him. Around 3 am the next day he got a call from an unknown number. This call was made to his personal phone. A phone only for Strawberry and a few selected people. He picked up the call but the person hung up.

Not knowing who and unable to get back to sleep he, asked his other friends first, before he asked Strawberry, as he doesn't want to bother Strawberry in what ever she is doing at that time. Around 4 am he got a reply from Strawberry saying she didn't call. He replied asking how come she is still awake at that time and he starts to wonder if she is ok and if she had drank alot. But she only replied that she is alright. He spend a few more hours awake just in case Strawberry might need him. He knew it would not happen and yet he still waited. He misses her alot and thats all he can do. Miss her and keep his feelings inside, while pretending he is alright in front of her.

The Evade

Angel had a bbq gathering, with his colleagues and friends, and on the same night Strawberry has a party to attend to. Earlier that day, he went down to the neighboring country to buy some liquor with a friend for the gathering. While they were there, his friend decided to go to a new shopping mall to buy some clothes and also at the same time have breakfast at McDonalds. Angel was hesitating as he got a big feeling that Strawberry would be there. After what had happened, Angel felt it would be awkward to talk and see her. Angel and his friend spend a long time looking for a parking lot as it was a public holidays hence, there were alot of cars. After a few turns, his friend spotted a familiar car that had just parked. When Angel drove past he saw Cloud and he knew at that moment Strawberry would be there. So he told his friend to go somewhere else to eat instead. His friend being hungry and also tired of waiting for a parking spot, agreed.

Its not that Angel didn't want to see her. It was the other way round, he wanted so much to see her and even as they drove away he still looked at the mirror just to look at her. He just thought he would spoil her mood if she had seen him, and so he left her just so she can enjoy her shopping without having to worry about bumping to each other. So he send her a text about him being there and leaving to another place to eat. Angel may not know what she is thinking but he wants to give her space.

Ascension to Heaven

Angel's final words for Strawberry:

"I have changed, i know. I lost my confidence and you don't feel secured. I have became weak. I've always made u worried about me and giving u so much troubles, I am really sorry. I didn't mean it. I know I'm not perfectly well but did you know i have given up so much just so i could make you happy and less worried, and also for everyone else the way you would want me to. I stopped driving really fast not because you told me to. But because I want to drive safe, avoid accidents and take you out. By driving safe, I can give you a ride with comfort yet enjoyable. At first, I was stubborn to heal myself, my health. But you were the reason I went so far just to get myself well. I want to live longer. If the treatments can extend my life one day longer, I will still go for it because that would mean I can see your smile one more day. Even now, I'm still taking really careful of myself. I've started to control my food diet, control my sports, smoked and drink alcohol less. There was a time when you wouldn't allow me to play my favorite sport. Regardless who or what can't change my mind of playing except for you. It was the first time I have cried. I cried not because you won't let me play but because i couldn't enjoy the sport the way i want it, I wasn't fit enough to play. I don't know if you have noticed, but I'm also working really hard at office like never before. But, even if you do not have someone else, I would've still left you. For I know, how I am now, I couldn't make you happy. Give me sometime, I definitely will come back to you stronger, plus I told you before,

"I cannot give you the world, but I will make your world happier ".

Even without being anyone special to you I will and can do it. I will be the person you want me to be, which is, my true self. Believe me one last time"

Strawberry Sweetness

Angel loves the bubbly and cheerful person that Strawberry is. She has the most warming smile and the loudest laughter. She is really loud and talks alot. She loves to smell her hair which is also her favorite part of her body. She prefers strawberries instead of cherries. She would always think of people close to her instead of her ownself. But she is also in someway selfish for she would never let people know how or what she thinks and feel. She has the biggest eyes that sparkled brighter than the stars when she is happy. She would sometimes cover her mouth when she laughs but its still very loud. She doesn't like to see mess, if she shes some she would clean it up. If it is someone elses mess she would clean it up while complaining. She doesn't like to be forced to do the things she doesnt want to do. Never say she is short or fat, otherwise she will gif u a good pinch if you're close to her and if you're lucky she would just laugh or sulk. She would always make Angel guess on random and impossible things like which colour pen she would use or whats the birthdate of someone she knows and Angel doesnt. She only sings to herself or just when she feels like singing but Angel would always tease her saying it would rain when she sings. After that she would ask Angel " Not nice meh i sing". The funny thing is, she has a great voice but she doesnt like to sing infront of a crowd even if the crowd is everyone she knows. She loves to eat but controls her portions of food. He would always remember to adjust the seatof his car just the way she like it, to suit her comfort. Her biggest attribute would be, everything has to go her way, but sometimes she would give you a chance. She is a tough and scary person at first but really soft hearted. If there's one word Angel could use to describe her is Crazy, and thats what he likes about her.

Just a Feeling

After all that has happened, Angel realised that the reasons she doesn't want to answer his questions were maybe because she didn't want to hurt him or the time isn't right. But she didn't know that by not telling, Angel is suffering even more than if she had done so. She never know he just wants to be able to talk to her like he always has. He knows the pressure she is going through, she didn't how he is trying his best to help her. The more he does, the more pressure he gives her.

All he wanted was her to be happy. The memories and times he spend with her will never be forgotten and the feelings he has for her will never fade. For him, his feelings will always remain the same for her never less only more. Out of so many photographs he has taken of her, only one photograph he could never capture but always remain in his mind. That photograph would be the time she smile. The smile that shows she is happy, in comfort and warms even the coldest heart. The smile that he always sees in her before they close to each other.

Now Angel could only remember the time he would be able to walk, under the same sky, with her under her umbrella during a hot day. He used to joke about how she would fly away everytime she opens up that umbrella. He also will remember the nights she spent with him comforting each other. Those memories he always wish he can still do the same now. If Angel could spend one more night with her, he would take her for a slow dance at the beach they always spend their nights under the carpet of stars and the Moon. He would love to be able to play badminton with her again, where she usually talk and laugh more than playing. He still awaits the chance to play with her as a doubles partner. Angel is moving on and moving away. If ever she needs him, he will always be there for her as if he had never left.